A thank you letter from a Bank Officer to his Boss! - The Game of Transfers

Dear Sir,

I thank you and my organization for whatever it has given to me during such a short span of my life (just 5 years of service).  My "gratitude factor" has grown so much inside me that now I am no longer able to control the same and it is spilling out of my mind and flowing out towards our bank.  I am unable to control my flow of "gratitudinal emotions" towards our bank that has so well recognized my potential (that we didn't even knew that we possessed!) and helped me realize it to its fullest value.  Not only me, our bank has also realized the complete potential of my family also (my wife and my 4-year-old son) whom our bank has blessed with places that are even hard for Google maps to detect, dialects of languages that are not spoken in the mainland of the states and wherein educational institutes teach in no other languages than the local language (an excellent way to develop the communication skills of the child which tests his brain potential for learning, absorbing, and integrating various languages, dialects, cultures, and cultural shocks).

Not only that, me and my family have learnt the intrinsic art of living like gypsies by keeping minimal items for survival - a la Ultimate Survival of the Discovery Channel.  With your divine blessings, I have served in various rural and semi-urban places in our country, given my best to our bank and generated good profits for our organization, which is of course, giving us our bread and butter (unlike other government organizations which need not worry about profit but only about "expenditure of the allocated budgets.").  And the best part is, you never made our excitement come down.  Just as soon as we feel like we are settled in any of the village and make up our mind for "surviving" 3 years over here, you transfer us out to "another village" in just 8 months.  With all due respect Sir, it take more than 8-10 months to even understand the roads, the place to purchase vegetables, the dairy (if something like that even exists), the gas connection or "chhulha" connection, a doctor for my family (and if we had done any good deeds in our previous birth, then a paediatrician for my child!), and many more things which you may not understand because you did not get the privilege of changing places like me every now and then.

And I just forgot to mention, the zest and adrenaline rush that we feel whenever we are "expecting" a transfer (but most of times, my transfers have been totally unexpected and "unasked for"!).  I want to give a small compliment for your immense talent of being a master of the game of guessing  called "Guess the Branch."  You make the entire process so foolproof that nothing - I repeat - nothing can escape the confines of your office regarding the future that is awaiting hundreds like me.  I sometimes think that John Wheeler (the scientist who coined the term "black hole") might have got the inspiration of the concept of black hole from your office - an entity so strong that not even a ray of light (for us, we call it "hope") can leave it because of its intense gravity (we call it the "power-wielder's hooliganism").  So, we just keep on guessing and sometimes, we even book the tickets for our native places (such fools are we!) thinking that this time the Lord will be pleased on us and give us their blessings in the form a posting which is at least 500 kms (accessible shortest distance) near to my native place.  But the day you release the transfer list, our excitement just increases, because we would have got another place that we need to search on Google maps which will just go "round and round and round" thus giving the crucial time for our minds and bodies to "adjust" to this torture. 

And finally comes the BEST part - we send our representations, request letters, and blah blah (for you) to your office - we even call whoever we know and whom we have previously worked with whom we think that "he knows you" and the best joke - "you listen to him."  We put requests in each and every corner of the organization and even find out the probable vacant positions "near our home town" and request you to consider us for that posting.  You DO consider somebody for that posting - but that person is never ME - Reason: - I WORK and PERFORM and the fools who do the same need more work to perform because the reward for good work is always more work and the reward for crying, babbling, using undue influence (political or otherwise), not working at all, messing up the work and creating more complicated work for people like me is THE CHOICE POSTING because you think that if that Non-performer is given a posting of his choice, then you can "extract" work from him on the pretext that he has been given his choice posting.  But let me tell you My Lord, that you are utterly wrong - performers and non-performers are not made - They are born.  So, now I finally found out who the real culprit is.  They are actually MY PARENTS who brought me into this world!

THANKS A BUNCH for enlightening me My Dear and Respected Lord!